Since He has been so faithful in His leading me, I just follow along, knowing some think maybe I am in serious need of counseling, but all I can do is follow. So know that as you read this we are taking this journey together, neither of us knowing where we are going or where we will end up...
Since I have no idea where I am going let me share with you my story of the hat. You might think it is a special story since I feel compelled to write about the hat, but it's not. I was looking for books to sell at the flea market (jockey lot for the people in SC) and a ran across an add on Craigslist where there were free books in Williamston.
I went to the address and a couple of women were there and told me to take whatever I wanted in the living room area, they told me it was their fathers home and he had reached a point in his life where he could no longer live alone. I thought it was great that they cared so much about him that they were taking him into their own home to live out his days not trusting his care to others.
I was saddened that all the things he cherished were being given away (ah, that's where we are going) I ran across the hat. It is not much to look at, you can tell though that at some point someone spent alot of money on a hat of good quality. The hat is well worn, it had been cared for with love, on the front is a pin of an American flag.
I asked the ladies there if they were sure about giving the hat away, you could just tell that it was well loved. They assured me that their father had give them a list of all that was important to him and the hat did not make that list.
I just could not let this hat go to anyone who walked through the door, strange but the truth, so I took it home with me and hung it on a nail inside my doorway and have really not given it a thought in all the months since. The other things I got that day are gone, sold or given to someone in need. The hat someday will have a home also, I don't know where or who it will go to but I am keeping it, holding on to it for that day.
God has talked to me a lot in the last year about holding on to "things" that nothing I have is mine, I can be a bit stingy about my things sometimes and have on more than one occasion been reluctant to give something away that I love.
I once heard a preacher say that she wished everyone could go stand in a trash dump and see all the junk there that was important to the people who bought it once, and now was taking up space, junk thrown away.
I have written this before but it seems that I am destined to write it often, the hardest thing for me to give has been my words on these pages. I who am considered fearless by many who know me am terrified of how people will judge my words. Which is why I post them to my Facebook page, I don't deal well with being afraid, so I confront it head on, I refuse to allow fear to lead me. Sadly, I have learned I have nothing to fear since very few people read them...
But mostly I hold onto my words because they are the heart of who I am, the part of me that I don't want to share with you "It's mine and you can't have it". I don't know what you cherish, what you hold onto but true freedom comes when you share with others.
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